⚠️ The month of January is marked as National Stalking Awareness Month, which is also known as Criminal Harassment. In Canada more then 1 in 10 women and 1 in 18 men report being stalked each year.
Stalking doesn't only include someone following you from place to place. It comes in many different ways such as; unwanted gifts, repeated unwanted phone calls or text messages and also includes someone who is constantly inquiring about you to friends, family members or co-workers.
Maintain detailed notes about the stalking conduct. Dates, times, places, actions and threats are easier to explain and remember when written down.
Keep all recorded telephone messages, e-mails, gifts, letters or notes that have been sent by the individual. Keep a list of emergency numbers posted in
several locations . Emergency numbers should include:
Keep all recorded telephone messages, e-mails, gifts, letters or notes that have been sent by the individual. Keep a list of emergency numbers posted in
several locations . Emergency numbers should include:
- police
- immediate family
- friends
- co-workers
- victims advocacy groups
Pay attention to incidents that may seem coincidental. Are you suddenly running into this person more often? If you are not sure if you are being stalked contact the police.
Do not agree to have contact with a person who you think may be stalking you. Do not try to deal with a stalker by yourself. Each stalking situation is different. Rather than intervening with the person yourself, contact the police. Consider that sometimes, when a stalker is confronted or meets with resistance, he/she may react with violence or the conduct may escalate.
⚠️Stalking is one of the most frightening crimes that can be inflicted on someone. Only those who have actually been subjected to the torture of a stalker can speak about the terror that is created by someone following their every move and abusing their privacy.
damaging effects that stalking can have on someone’s life, it is still a severely misunderstood crime. Whether driven by obsession, resentment, or a combination of factors, the results are always the same—hurt and pain for everyone involved.
Stalkers have many motivations, including hatred, obsession, and a desire for intimacy. According to most experts, there are five types of stalkers, all with differing behaviors and motivations.
The first type is the rejected stalker, who begins to harass a victim after the unsatisfactory end of a romantic or perceived romantic relationship. A rejected stalker engages in stalking to continue to have influence over his or her victim.
The second type seeks intimacy even though the victim is unaware of the stalker’s feelings. The stalker believes that his or her actions will ultimately provide that intimacy with the victim.
The third type is the incompetent stalker, who is often socially awkward and tries not to approach the victim directly. Like the intimacy seeker, this person prefers stalking over actually attempting a normal relationship.
The fourth type is the resentful stalker, who feels that he or she has been humiliated by the victim after ending a relationship with that person. Resentful stalkers are more dangerous than the previous three types.
⚠️Stalkers do more than psychologically abuse their victims. Studies have shown that some stalkers tend to be extremely violent in many situations. In comparison to most other criminals, including members of gangs and other organized crime groups, stalkers are far more likely to commit acts of violence toward their victims. However, the odds of extreme violence by stalkers are still much lower than many believe.
In most studies on violence, about 30 percent of criminals commit violent acts. For stalkers, it’s over 50 percent. The number is highest for sexually intimate stalkers like ex-husbands or ex-partners. Approximately 59 percent of these acts are committed by rejected stalkers who are angry about being spurned by former lovers. Predatory stalkers who want to control their victims engage in violence toward their victims about 50 percent of the time.
These types of stalkers are not above physically and sexually assaulting former spouses, boyfriends, or girlfriends. They commonly frighten or harm their victims with actions such as banging on a car hood, choking, kicking, or lunging with weapons.
⚠️While predatory stalkers deliberately commit horrible acts against their victims, many stalkers do not perceive themselves as harming their objects of affection. These stalkers are obsessive and feel that they are simply being “romantic” by constantly imposing themselves into their victims’ lives. Some even claim that they are protecting their victims. For example, an ex-husband who stalks his former wife may say that he is simply trying to see if his children are safe.
One stalker even wrote an extensive post on his blog about his motivations and actions. The post goes into detail about why he chose his victim and why he was obsessed with her. Then he tries to get sympathy by portraying himself as a victim of love.
THINGS YOU CAN DO
- If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
- Trust your instincts. Don’t downplay the danger. If you feel you are unsafe, you probably are.
- Take threats seriously. Danger generally is higher when the stalker talks about suicide or murder, or when a victim tries to leave or end the relationship.
- Contact a crisis hotline, victim services agency, or a domestic violence or rape crisis program, such as DOVE. We can help you devise a safety plan, give you information about local laws, weigh options such as seeking a protection order, and refer you to other services.
- Develop a safety plan, including things like changing your routine, arranging a place to stay, and having a friend or relative go places with you. Decide in advance what to do if the stalker shows up at your home, work, school, or somewhere else. Tell people how they can help you. Click here to learn more about safety plans for stalking.
- Don’t communicate with the stalker or respond to attempts to contact you.
- Keep evidence of the stalking. When the stalker follows you or contacts you, write down the time, date, and place. Keep emails, text messages, phone messages, letters, or notes. Photograph anything of yours the stalker damages and any injuries the stalker causes. Ask witnesses to write down what they saw. Click here to download a stalking incident and behavior log.
- Contact the police. There are stalking laws in all 50 states. The stalker may also have broken other laws by doing things like assaulting you or stealing or destroying your property.
- Consider getting a court order that tells the stalker to stay away from you. These may be referred to as a PPO (Personal Protection Order), a restraining order, or a no contact order.
- Tell family, friends, roommates, and co-workers about the stalking and seek their support.
- Tell security officers or staff at your job or school. Ask them to help watch out for your safety.
Blogger: Egypt Assanti
Eta Sigma Delta SL Sorority
{aka} Big Sister Southern Heat
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