When I was a little girl, my mother would tell me that I had to make a Christmas list for Santa. Sounds easy enough, right? WRONG. LOL Every year, upon making this request, she would hand me the Sears catalog and tell me to make the list citing the page number, item letter (remember when catalogs had items a-whatever letter on each page?), size and color (if clothes or shoes) or whatever specific piece of something (if it was a toy) and write it down. And I had this down to a science, y’all. I had my yellow legal pad, ruler and pens/pencils at the ready sitting on my desk so I could make my Christmas list. I even got to a point where I’d make a grid with the column headings of page #, item number, description/item name, size, color, price (yes…I added in the price LOOOOOOOL). I wanted Santa’s job to be as easy as possible.
Over the years, I watched as my mom struggled to get me as much as she could…from Santa. And in watching her, I learned that you couldn’t always get what you want. So naturally with this lesson, and with age, the list of things I wanted slowly turned into the list of things I needed; less toys, more clothes, books, shoes, items for projects and school. Basic necessities growing up were easier to ask for, even if I couldn’t always receive them. And eventually, I learned not to ask for much. Just be thankful for what I receive.
Now that I’m older, I find it more difficult to ask for things for myself. Asking for a thing others may want or need is like second nature; breathing really. I’m a relatively simple person. I don’t ask for much; require even less. So when I was asked for what I want for Christmas this year…I really didn’t (and still don’t) know what to say for myself. But…this is what I want for others.
I want for everyone that is going through something to have a reprieve…a moment of peace and calm where they feel no pain; where their hearts aren’t hurting or in some state of suffering. I want the people I love to find hope, inner peace, balance and happiness. And I want them to know love. Not just the kind one finds within a romantic relationship; but more the love that comes from within. I want the people I love to spoil themselves rotten with that self-love, remembering their worth and realizing they deserve it…and so much more. And then maybe they’ll find the peace they’ve been looking for, be the calm to their own storms and have the balance they often crave.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
<3 Kilolo Jenkins aka Big Sister Treble Clef
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